I want to let you in, I just don’t know how.
I have always managed to figure things out by myself. I learned and got used to loneliness, I listen to my thoughts, I’m capable of spending a lot of days with them. But there was this small feeling, right there, in the back of my mind, that made me want to have company. It was really small for a long time, small enough for me to act like it wasn’t there. But it’s not anymore.
For some reason, I assumed I wasn’t allowed help. I wasn’t allowed relationships. I wasn’t allowed normal things. Because I didn’t feel normal. But love… Love is not normal or abnormal, it doesn’t even fit this category, it is on a higher level. At first, it seemed weak to admit I wanted to be loved, it seemed foolish. It is foolish, isn’t it? To allow another person you have never met to enter your life and find out all those things you never told anyone. To allow them to change you.
I want you to enter my life and change me. I want you to mess with this thoughts of mine. I want you to ask me about my favorite books. I want to see you smiling because of something I said. I want you to make me see life differently. I want you to tell me your stories and your dreams. I want to let you be with me when I’m alone. I want to fall asleep with the lights on knowing you will turn it off for me. I want you to have thoughts I never thought you would and surprise me. I want to watch bad movies on sundays afternoons. I want to be taken care of, for a change. I want to be able to show you that you’re allowed in my life. I want you to meet me.
I want to let you in, I just don’t know how.Impressions on Ideas (via impressionsonideas)